How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
my love, with your delights!
7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,
9 and your mouth like the best wine.
Song of Solomon 7:6 (new international version 2010)
Two new books by Jennifer Wright Knust and Michael Coogan try to find out what the Bible really has to say about sex. As an atheist I thought I’d have a quick look into the subject myself. And boy, I was not disappointed. There is no need whatsoever to hide the Hustler in your Bible at Sunday service. It’s all there already!
Christian conservatives have us believe that the Bible is a book of moral guidance from which no deviation is possible. This moral guidance is adhered to especially when it comes to sex. They use the Bible to outlaw homosexuality, adultery, sex before marriage; in short any sex that is not between one man and one woman within the confines of a church ordained marriage.
The problem is that the Bible is full of sexual deviation. How can it not be? It is after all a book written by men (and yes I do mean men as in male humans). Imagine some scholar sitting cross legged in a desert staring at nothing having to come up with yet another text to satisfy the morally questionable whims of the ruler of the day - texts justifying the killing of baby boys (Exodus 1:22) or the ruthless slaying of 10,000 people (Judges 3:29)- you would want your diversions, right? So the holy texts are peppered with racy bits. I imagine the rulers and upper classes all through history relished their scholarly readings to be spiced up by these outpourings of sexual innuendo and licentious daring do’s by the main characters. So a win-win for both scholar and reader.
The Bible, that ancient text is not outdone by modern day porn sites. If it’s niche sex you’re into, it’s in there. Swinging? Abram is sent by his wife Sarai to impregnate her servant Hagar. And Abram gladly complies (Genesis 16:2). Sex with older women? Sarah at 90 has her pleasures with Abraham (Genesis 18). Sex with sisters? Jacob first “went in unto” Leah and later “in unto” Rachel, her sister (Genesis 29:23 and further). Oh and to make it even more kinky for poor Jacob both sisters offer him their servants as well. And guess what? He goes “in unto” them as well (Genesis 30:3 and further).
I could go on and on and on. But frankly, if you’ve read one, you’ve read them all. If you’re interested there’s much more biblical porn to be found on the Internet to complement the non-biblical variety.
So the Bible is a moral guide book? Great. In that case do as Abram does. Do as Abraham does and do as Jacob does. The Christian conservatives have it all wrong: you can screw around as much as you like whenever you like, the Bible says so. Or maybe, just maybe, here’s a thought: start thinking for yourself for once and try to find North on your moral compass all by yourself. I know it’s hard but it can’t be worse than using the Bible for a guide because to be honest, if you do that you run the risk of becoming rife with STD’s and very, very fatigued.
my love, with your delights!
7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,
9 and your mouth like the best wine.
Song of Solomon 7:6 (new international version 2010)
Two new books by Jennifer Wright Knust and Michael Coogan try to find out what the Bible really has to say about sex. As an atheist I thought I’d have a quick look into the subject myself. And boy, I was not disappointed. There is no need whatsoever to hide the Hustler in your Bible at Sunday service. It’s all there already!
Christian conservatives have us believe that the Bible is a book of moral guidance from which no deviation is possible. This moral guidance is adhered to especially when it comes to sex. They use the Bible to outlaw homosexuality, adultery, sex before marriage; in short any sex that is not between one man and one woman within the confines of a church ordained marriage.
The problem is that the Bible is full of sexual deviation. How can it not be? It is after all a book written by men (and yes I do mean men as in male humans). Imagine some scholar sitting cross legged in a desert staring at nothing having to come up with yet another text to satisfy the morally questionable whims of the ruler of the day - texts justifying the killing of baby boys (Exodus 1:22) or the ruthless slaying of 10,000 people (Judges 3:29)- you would want your diversions, right? So the holy texts are peppered with racy bits. I imagine the rulers and upper classes all through history relished their scholarly readings to be spiced up by these outpourings of sexual innuendo and licentious daring do’s by the main characters. So a win-win for both scholar and reader.
The Bible, that ancient text is not outdone by modern day porn sites. If it’s niche sex you’re into, it’s in there. Swinging? Abram is sent by his wife Sarai to impregnate her servant Hagar. And Abram gladly complies (Genesis 16:2). Sex with older women? Sarah at 90 has her pleasures with Abraham (Genesis 18). Sex with sisters? Jacob first “went in unto” Leah and later “in unto” Rachel, her sister (Genesis 29:23 and further). Oh and to make it even more kinky for poor Jacob both sisters offer him their servants as well. And guess what? He goes “in unto” them as well (Genesis 30:3 and further).
I could go on and on and on. But frankly, if you’ve read one, you’ve read them all. If you’re interested there’s much more biblical porn to be found on the Internet to complement the non-biblical variety.
So the Bible is a moral guide book? Great. In that case do as Abram does. Do as Abraham does and do as Jacob does. The Christian conservatives have it all wrong: you can screw around as much as you like whenever you like, the Bible says so. Or maybe, just maybe, here’s a thought: start thinking for yourself for once and try to find North on your moral compass all by yourself. I know it’s hard but it can’t be worse than using the Bible for a guide because to be honest, if you do that you run the risk of becoming rife with STD’s and very, very fatigued.
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